Trophy Wives Season 3, 2011-2012

Chief

Welcome To Season Number Three!

Trophy Wives, I welcome you,
To Season Number Three!

We've just begun our journey
In the desert by the sea.

We pushed and pulled the pull carts,

And never went off path,

Knowing if we did it,
We'd hear the Marshall’s wrath.

 We followed the directions,

And everything was jolly.

In the end, we all had wished,

We'd played as well as Polly!

Wanna Play?

Trophy Wives!!!!  I have arrived...

And only God knows how.

But I am sleeping in my bed,

And watching TV now!

Tomorrow when I see the sun,

I'll pick up on my cell,

And make a nooner tee time,

At good old Indian Well.

If you are somewhere near here,

And wish to play with me.

Then I will see you Thursday,

 Cuz that is where I'll be!

No Carts Allowed On Fairways!

Trophy Wives don't bitch much

'bout cart-path-only shit,

 But if the rules don't change soon...

we all may have to quit!

Leaving precious clubs behind

on fairways in deep grass,

Make playing stellar rounds of golf

a huge pain-in-the-ass!

Thank goodness we have turkeys

that demand to have their day,

Cuz one more round on DST

and none of us would play!

Vivian, Joanne and Sandy

Blown Away

Trophy wives were blown away,

But none the worse for wear,

Some took care of chores and shopped,

Others saw "Marilyn's Affair."

Next time Mr. Weather creeps

around to mess up play,

I trust that all my Trophy Wives

Will blow that creep away!

Wardrobe Malfunction

Trophy Wives are talented

with hybrids, irons, chippers.

But no one could top Tracey's game

of playing without zippers!

It's really quite embarrassing

to lose a zippered dress.

But add to that a tire blows

and then you've got a mess!

The Strook's were home to offer up

some clothes to cover Chief,

And cart barn guys came racing out

which gave us all relief.

Eventually we moved along

re-'tire'd and re-dressed,

A bunch of scrambled Trophy Wives

unfettered and de-stressed.

We laughed it off and partied

in our own familiar way,

At Cheryle's house we toasted

to our Trophy Holiday!

Happy Trophy New Year!

Trophy wives, I send you cheer.

A lively, lavish, bright New Year.

So fortunate are we to be,

A bunch of broads that golf  for free.

And dine and drink and dance all day;

An awesome group of gals, I'd say.

My hope is that each one of you

Make twenty twelve a good one too.

For each of us are fortunate...

As fortunate as one can get,

To have this very special life,

And live it as a Trophy Wife!

Chief and Carol

Carol Was The One To Watch

Carol was the one to watch,

She landed in the tree trunk crotch.

Her drive was in a fairway trap.

Her lie was good, her steering crap.

She ironed out....the ball ran free,

And ended up precariously.

Inside the crease of this big tree.

She earned her right as honoree!

Carol

Competeing For Some Dough

Trophy wives put money down,

And Polly picked it up.

She earned 5 skins to win it all,

With putts that found the cup.

A pattern is emerging here.

The lessons served her well.

Perhaps if we are kind to her,

She'll play some "Show and Tell."

But quietly we played our round:

Unusual...I know.

A bunch of focused Trophy Wives,

Competing for some dough!

I hope these games don't force my wives

To be too serious.

Cuz dreaming up this poetry...

Makes me delirious!

Polly and Val

Scoring Friendships

Trophy wives will travel,

To mountain Coves in Wells.

Play among the gardens,

Craggy rocks that cast their spells.

All the while looming

In their own familiar way,

Are friendships that are blooming

On the golf course as we play.

And while we munch on spicy wings,

We're visions of such beauty...

As we talk remodeled kitchens;

Cruises; lawsuits; jury duty.

The links that really bind us

Are not Palmer, Dye or Shore,

But camaraderie and friendship,

And a better Trophy score!

No One Likes A Trap

Trophy Wives must maximize

Their talent in team play.

For if you're the unlucky ones,

You're gonna have to pay.

We tossed a bunch of dollars down

For Carol, Viv and Jo...

Whose scores were close to ninety,

And Viv's ..... a tad below.

The rest of us were thrilled to note

That rules could help our play.

Declare your ball 'unplayable'

And bunkers go away!

No one misses bunkers!

No one gives a crap!

All we know is we don't like

To hit into a trap!

When the game is over,

And when we all are through.

We toast a Trophy cocktail,

And eat English Toffee too!

Ditch The Crazy Diet

Trophy Wives are lovely.

They're never shy or quiet.

They show up every game day,

To ditch their crazy diet.

At home, it's whole grains only,

And low fat dairy air,

But when we're on the golf course,

We dine without a care!

Banana bread and toffee;

Mixed dried fruit and nuts.

We eat them by the bus load,

To keep our shapely butts.

And when the game is over,

We're feeling mighty fine.

We've left some room for dining,

On Chex, peanuts and wine!

You Pick The Game

Trophy Wives have got a game,

That next week will not be the same.

And which whose name I will not name,

For which I will not take the blame!

For Chief has scrambled eggs upstairs.

A scratchy head with pulled out hairs.

While trying to make up a game,

Has rendered Trophy Chief insane!

So every week I'll give it up,

To each of you...YOU make them up.

And I will bring scorecards for you,

But games to play are chores YOU do!

Never Look Back

Whether The Weather Is Cold

Trophy wives are weather wise,

They wither when it's cold.

Whenever weather's cold outside,

They feel a little b'old!

So none of them adventure out

Of homes that keep them warm.

Instead they do their Trophy chores,

Sheltered from the storm!

Their "Pink Balls" On Display

Trophy Wives were slowed up,

By dudes down south from Houston.

They played a game with pink balls,

Attempting not to lose them.

With Trophy Wives behind 'em,

You'd think they'd speed up play.

And meet us at the Clubhouse

With their "pink balls" on display

We made it to the Clubhouse.

Our scores were not so bad.

As long as Chief is not the one

Whose job it is to add!

She cannot balance checkbooks,

She's late when things are due.

She's begging once again to make

Additions up to YOU!

Reflections of a Trophy Wife

Champs

Trophy Wives are champions;

They've proven that they can...

Come out on top flights 2 and 3,

Are Chief and Vivian!

Three hard fought rounds with crappy holes;

At times we felt the curse,

Of other tough competitors,

Whose scores had turned out worse!

So there you are....a number Gross,

Or fewer with the Net.

Either way, we made the top...

How lucky can we get!

Sandy, Val, Vivian, Joanne, Ardella and Polly

Trophy Balls Are Everywhere

Trophy Wives prefer things neat.

Our cart; our clothes; our hair; our feet.

So when we play the Dinah Shore,

It irks us that we're neat no more.

Our spikes are filled with clumps of green.

The rough is deep and downright mean.

There's palm fronds scattered all around,

A cruel and unjust golfing round!

We're Trophy Wives; We have some pride,

We tee it up...We hit it wide.

The fairway's just 1 place to land,

So's out-of-bounds... and so is sand!

Our balls could wind up anywhere.

That course is patently unfair.

So LPGA....Be Aware!

There's hidden trophies everywhere!

Back Off  Dudes!

Trophy wives have backbones.

They stand up for what's right.

When men get in between us,

They're gonna hear ME fight!

Thank goodness that the Marshall,

Was there to have my back.

My mouth and eyes were vicious,

In my verbal Chief attack!

"Go back behind my wives," I say,

There's no place to play through.

And off the three men scattered,

With a Marshall escort too!

Rid Ourselves of Muffin Tops

Trophy Wives have plans galore;

Their days and nights are booked.

Golfing; yoga; hair; massage,

It's easy to get hooked...

On manly swings that drive the ball

With 90 feet to green.

Or yoga teachers bodies

That are effin ucking lean!

Aspiring for greatness

Is a Trophy Wife's desire.

Anything to rid ourselves

Of muffin tops or tires!

So keep those plans a'comin'

Fill your days with lots of stuff.

Cuz in the end, we're Trophy Wives,

And that should be enough!

A Trophy Wife Salute

Our Brains Are Overburdened

Trophy wives will mix and match

Throughout their trophy game.

Not only did they mix their carts...

They mixed their trophy names!

They started as a twosome,

With a threesome close in tow.

When two caught up to three,

 Then they were five, and good to go!

But then a stodgy senior

Hit his ball up to our green.

And Chief unleashed a comment

That was 'Chiefly' but not mean.

The buzzards finally backed off

And we went our trophy way;

Hitting roofs and trees and carts,

While watching each ball riccochet!

No wonder when we're golfing

That we get so darn confused.

Our brains are overburdened and

Our balls are overused!

Scores Were In The Eighties

Trophy Wives may spend their lives

Indulging in great things;

Like supersonic drivers;

Watches, diamonds and earrings.

But when they're on the golf course

They wear game hats so well.

A skort may be a problem,

But it's cute...so what the hell!

If  we can chip a ball in

After cleaning in a pond.

Then we can change our luck around

Without a magic wand!

Two of us know how it's done;

Their scores were in the eighties.

Sandy, Gioconda.....

You are honored Trophy Ladies!

Ardella, Gioconda and Bonnie

Trophy Pace

Trophy wives have reached new highs.

Our scores have reached new lows.

We played a round...3 hours 10,

And you know how that goes.

We hit our tee shots center right.

Our fairway woods were long.

We reached the green beside the pin,

And nothing could go wrong!

We focused rather fiendishly

On bettering our score.

Sinking putts from off the green;

How could we hope for more?

The exodus of Snow Birds,

Has changed our Trophy pace.

Next week when we play our round,

We'll have a Trophy race!

Back Row: Val, Polly, Carol, Ardella, Vivian
Front Row: Chief, Bonnie, Gioconda, Sandy, Joanne

So Nice To Know You're Always There

Trophy Wives, forgive me please.

My life has not been too at-ease.

I’m wrapped up with the legal-ease;

The type that breaks up families.

I wish to put it all aside,

And find a cozy place to hide.

A way to take it all in stride,

And spare myself of this divide.

I pledge allegiance to you all,

That I will stand up very tall.

As Trophy Chief I have a call,

I will not take a righteous fall.

It warms my heart….you’re all aware;

That I can see how much you care.

I know I’m thought of in your prayer…

So nice to know you’re always there!